How to Wear a Beret

Ralph Lauren Fall 2007


Beyonce Rocks Leather Beret in Concert

Penelope in Cream Beret

Cute Cafe Girl

Jennifer Lopez

Various Other Hot Folk

Overgrown Lawn Gnome Lady

Hmmm....something is amiss! Here at the Haute Spot we put our flesh and blood into gathering shots of various people wearing the beret right but to keep you on your toes we threw in a dummy, a vile imposter and disgrace to the fashion race! Can you guess who it is?

That's right! BLOODY BRILLIANT HOLMES! It's "Overgrown Lawn Gnome Lady" who's guilty of working this trend all wrong! Need we expound upon the reasons? No, but we've made a list anyway.

Why this hurts our eyes:

1.First off she's wearing no makeup. Pssssst!!!! I'll bet she thinks she's a natural beauty. *Laughs riotously*

2. Second, we strongly suspect she's using that poor hat as cover for her unruly, greasy, hot ass mess of hair. Somebody call the police! We've got a hostage situation here! Do it quick!!!! Before she hurts someone with that thing!

3. Coveralls which cover naught.

4. That roll is talking to us.

That being said....

The Rules on How to Wear It:

1. Small diameter. Never exceed a diameter of 12 inches for a beret or else you'll look like a pancake or mushroom head. Take your pick.

2. Pull it down a bit so that you get rounded not sharp edges. That makes for a much softer, less severe look that's easier to pull off.

3. The side-cock. Practically fool proof way to look stylish, cosmopolitan and in the know.

4. Either with a wintry fabric or a wintry color. If your outfit doesn't have one of those things people will be baffled as to how it fits in at all. (See coveralls photo) So don't try and pair it with Summery items or you'll look like a crazy cat lady.

5. Attitude. If there's any doubt about whether your beret works your confidence can sell it to others. You believe it works...so automatically they do too. So wear it with pride .

Suggestions on What to Wear it With:

1. Fifties inspired stuff (See photo of Dita in previous post)

2. Black tights. *Snaps fingers* (See Cafe Girl")

3. Trendy outfits with street-wise vibe + black leather beret= hotness.

4. Anything sleek and form fitting. (See Penelope Cruz)

Where to Find it

1. GreatLookz despite the dopey name offers the right size and fabric in an astounding array of colors.

2. Kangol Anglobasque. A favorite of many.

3. Thrift Stores

4. Ebay. This is the best way really. Just a couple clicks. No diving in dusty thrift store bins day after day till one turns up. You can easily find high quality berets on there; the genuine article- french basque. They will be old but they are high quality, silk lined, leather trimmed berets for under $20. Can't beat that.

So can you wear a beret?

Oui. Oui.

Good. Get out of here. Make us proud.

Bootie Bonanza!

Jean-Michel Cazabat Ciara Bootie $515

Victoria's Secret Buckle Bootie $89

Steve Madden Notting $90

Target Slash-Front Heels $27-30

Dita in Slash Front Booties

D&G Silver Python Bootie $465

Target Sandy Ankle Boots $36.99

Steve Madden Chap $150

What haute-footed female isn't indulging in the bootie trend this season? Yes, there is a slight risk that one could end up looking like Robin Hood or the Pied Piper but who wants to be perfectly safe all the time? Here at The Haute Spot we see this as quality of life issue. If life's gonna be worth living you need to take occasional risks in every aspect- including fashion.

Consider Neiman Marcus' silver D&G booties. The basic, clean lines make it easy to style while the silver color and python print add just a touch of the wild. Perfect for those of you ready for $465 worth of risk. Likely I've lost a few readers right there. I can recommend a cheap alternative for those of you still with me. As for the rest of you- best of luck with your new pacemakers.

Budget fashionistas should consider Lulu Guinness' version of the D&G boots recently spotted at Loehmanns. For only $100 they feature snake skin in either electric turquoise or red. Those interested in Dita's shoes can find a good replica on Amazon.com or in Target stores for $27- 30. The style is Mossimo's Debra and comes in grey, purple and black suede. Payless and Aldo sell almost identical pairs for $30 and $100 respectively. Target's Sandy Ankle Boot is another cheap fix at $37. Comes in black patent, winter white and maroon.

Lastly, I recommend Steve Madden Chap for you fashionistas with a mod streak. I couldn't include them all but be sure to check out the rest of Steve Madden's booties (especially the $90 Notting), and Cazabat's Ciara, as well as Victoria Secret's Buckle Bootie while they're still 20% off.

How do you wear these? They are especially good with either skinny jeans, leggings, or pencil skirts but you really can go wrong with any kind of close fitting bottoms

Until next time fashionistas!

How to Rock Patterned Stockings

Katie in Fishnets

Heather Graham Rocking Striped Stockings Right

Fishnets- A Polyvore Interpretation

Stripey Stocking- Tracy Reese Fall 2007

So it's Fall. That's still no reason to let your short skirts and shorts face cruel consumption by the dastardly dynamic duo- moths and dry rot.

My solution? Stockings and I don't mean your granny's kind. There's such variety out there. Stripey, dotted, fish net, florals and in every color you might conceive!

Afraid of looking like a mentally challenged mime or a streetwalker? Well worn correctly I guarantee this will work. Here are some tips on how to wear it well:

1. Keep makeup and all other adornment minimal.

2. Stick to one muted color such as black, white, cream, tan.

3.Balance the shortness of the skirt with tall boots allowing only a peek of patterned stocking to show. I'm also a fan of fishnets peeking through a peep toe shoe. Very sexy in a Marlene Dietrich kind of way.

4. If you intend to do fishnets search for ones with small diamonds. It makes a difference. Faint of heart? Nude fishnets are also an option.

Fall's High Collared Dresses

Alexander McQueen Silk/Tulle Dress



How knockout is that black dress from Chaiken's Fall 2007 line?! Just add a beret, a pair of red velvet pumps and some heavy gold bangles and you have instant femme fatale. The novel little pockets, coupled with the v-notch and the especially high collar make it the perfect little black dress for fall. What I really like is that the rakish high collar eliminates the need for a scarf. Just slap a coat over it and go.

Equally compelling is this grey, high collared dress by Alexander McQueen. Perfect for creating that curvy fifties look. The gold and leopard print belt adds just the right touch of opulance to a dress that's other wise relatively simple. It looks rich, refined and pulled together without trying too hard or seeming stuffy. Click here for the red McQueen.

Only one rule for wearing any of these dresses. Carry a big stick to beat the men back with.